Are you a ‘ME’ or ‘WE’ leader?

Door Charles Ruiters 24 November 2017

Becoming a Conscious Leader requires making the shift from ME to WE. It also requires conscious. We all were born being conscious. There was nothing that took away our being. Only by growing older we start to develop a sense of self. We develop our identity, an ego that we think we are. The ego in itself is not bad. It has its function and helps us to survive. Ego and conscious, however, are two different domains. Ego holds on to everything behind my/me/mine…. while conscious makes you able to see the limitation of the ego’s way to keep control.

If we are not conscious, every situation is perceived within the ego-context, the ME-context, and the way you dealt with similar situations in the past, determines how you deal with it today. This happens automatically. Programs are automatic uploaded from your sub-conscious.

The very first step into conscious leadership is to gently shifting your ego out of the driver-seat and let conscious and a broader perspective take over. Shifting from ME to WE.

A world governed by ‘ME’ companies…

If you would expand your view point beyond what you know and who you think you are, you create space and see what is from a wider perspective. This enables you to see more possibilities. Conscious leaders engage from the WE, not from the ME. While they have the ME, they choose from WE!

We still live in a world governed by “ME” companies with the consequence that people working there behave as the ME-concept: lots of story, not taking responsibility, blaming others, unhealthy team dynamics, power struggles, distrust, high level of control, acting from fear, survival, frustrating others and other departments, low level of collaboration, focusing on its own survival, fulfilling its own needs, walking in line with all others, not being yourself, behave in a way that is expected, focus is on myself rather than on the whole, etc..

Starting the journey

The shift from ME to WE (or from an ego-dominated organization to a conscious organization) is not a one-step solution but more a journey during which you let go of your limiting believes and slowly but certainly opening up and surrender, while you keep your focus on your vision. You are making the shift from being in control and controlling others to being trust and trusting that others know and can. This journey is explored step by step. In the beginning the fear of lost, focus on profit and on self might be still take the overhand. However, once you explore the gifts that come with letting go and making it as about yourself as about others, you start to experience the impact of co-operating with the greater whole has on who you are.

When it’s about ME, it’s not about WE

If you make it more about ME, you are operating below the line and are serving your ego’s desires. Your ego also has its tricks to make you holding on to ME. It plays its games in duality: making you right and others automatically wrong. It’s separative in its very nature. It plays out ‘tango’s’, typical behavior to take people’s attention. In order to dominate others (domination is a way of controlling others), it plays out control and defense strategies. Simply to avoid that anyone gets too close to you, to avoid that you will be gotten. When you operate below the line, you are not available, you are separated and your decisions doesn’t serve a higher purpose but serve only you.

A good question to ask yourself from moment to moment is:

Are you functioning above or below the line?


You cannot be in both area’s: when it’s about ME, it’s not about WE.  ‘WE’ includes the ME, however from a perspective that you have your ego.

Conscious leaders live from WE

As a conscious leader, you live from WE, you engage from a clear vision. You are focused and make sure that your actions are in line with this vision. Your vision puts you in service of others, the world, the Whole. You have raised your awareness to such a level that you are able to move beyond your believes, your conditioning and your automatic reactions. You let go of how you see the world and allow other perspectives to be. You don’t take things personally. You are open for what is and perceive the ‘here and now’ without any judgement.

You have stopped making others wrong.

You have stopped trying to fit people into your way of seeing and thinking. Instead of that, you are open and genuine curious to know how they see it. You have left hierarchical ways of dealing with challenges and moved to TEAL approach: ideas regarding what to do next can come from anywhere in the organization. And you create a safe, transparent context where people are who they are. Your job is to empower them. To awaken possibilities in other people. You have integrated coaching as a way of life.

A good question to ask yourself from moment to moment is:

What context are you operating from: ME or WE?

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